While every trip has been fun and a joy, it hasn't always been easy. Over the last 10 years I've learned a lot of lessons that have helped me transform my kids from day hikers into experienced backpackers that can accompany me on epic adventures.

When you're ready to put these tips into practice check out our backpacking gear guide. I've been tuning this list for the last 14 years and I think I've got it pretty well dialed in.

Show them your love

The reason I want to take my kids backpacking is to share my love for the wilderness with them. From very, very early ages they've seen my passion for the outdoors on display. It's inescapable. There are pictures in the house, stickers on the cars, and if that wasn't enough each of them is named after a lake or river!

Kids naturally look up to their parents as their first role models. I try to model all kinds of good behavior (sometimes more successfully than others) and loving and respecting our natural world is part of that.

Before they were ready to accompany me, they saw the pictures and heard the stories from trips like section hikes of the PCT and snow camps in the Alpine Lakes Wilderness. Each adventure they didn't get to go on only whetted their appetite.

Start small

For us, small meant car camping. The kids got used to sleeping in tents in their first few months of life so it became second nature. It became a special treat to set up a tent inside so they could play "camping."

At three years old, we simulate a backpacking trip by sleeping in the backyard with backpacking gear. It's significantly less luxurious than car camping and I make the kids go to the bathroom outside instead of cheating and heading into the house.

At four years old, each of my kids went on a short, one-night trip. How "short" is short? My kids were hiking three to five miles on day hikes so that's what I targeted for the two day round-trip. Scout Lake was 3.5 miles with 1,200 feet of gain. Esmerelda Basin was a little longer at 5.6 miles, but still about 1,200 feet of climbing. Sheep Lake was four miles and 700 feet of gain.

Bring friends

If you look at the trip reports for those initial trips you'll see they brought friends along. This is absolutely critical for the first couple of years. As much as I value one-on-one time with my kids having a friend there improves the experience for both them and me.

For them: It's not hiking and camping with Daddy. It's playing with a friend in the woods. It's a subtle difference, but an important one.

For me: With a friend came a friend's parent. I've done a lot of crazy things with my kids over the years, but heading out on their first overnight with just me to rely on isn't one of them. I'm unwilling to accept the risk, or make any of my kids accept the risk, of taking charge of survival at four should I get hurt no matter how unlikely it is. Having another adult along provides that backup should the worst happen.

Involve them in planning

As the kids have gotten older I've included them more and more in the planning stages of our trips. Don't get me wrong, I'm not slapping down a map of the the state in front a five year old and asking them to pick our destination or giving them veto power. I am using the crafty parent's trick of presenting them with multiple options that are all acceptable to me.

"Would you rather camp by a lake, a river, or in the snow?"

"Do you want to go to Olympic National Park or Mount Rainier National Park?"

"Do you want to eat Macaroni and Cheese for all your meals or just one?"

(The answers are generally, "snow," "Mount Rainier," and "all the meals!")

I expect that the kids will continue to develop their own preferences and may one day actually suggest novel ideas for trips I'd never considered. In fact, I'm looking forward to the day they challenge me with a trip that pushes our abilities.

Stay realistic

Until then, I'm staying realistic about my expectations. On those first trips, when they were four years old, the distances and climbs were ones I knew the kids could handle. They could probably have done more, but I wanted them to be well within their comfort zone.

Sleeping in a tent in the wilderness for the first time can be traumatic. I expected that neither the kids nor I would get much sleep (and I was right) so day two was usually a slow, laid back affair. On each of the three "first trips" there were ways we could extend for more adventure. I had these routes in my back pocket in case we needed them, but they never emerged.

Instead, we swam, took naps, or just played. By not pushing them beyond what they could do we had a great time and were able to make memories that will last.

Push

I know I just wrote that I don't push the kids, but that was just on the early trips and not pushing them beyond what they are capable of doing.

One of the problems with society today is we often don't expect enough of our kids. We're content to let them coast through life without challenging them. I have a pretty good idea of the limits of my kids and how to get the best out of them so as they've grown I've pushed them to reach higher and accomplish more. The look on their face when they succeed is priceless.

That's not to say I haven't misjudged a challenge and wound up pushing them too far. On day three of the High Divide trip the girls (9 and 11) were at the breaking point after hiking all day, covering 11 miles.

However, the fatigue and sore muscles they felt after that long day were nothing compared to the looks on their faces when we had "summited" Panhandle Gap two years before. Or the look on my son's face when he summited Alta Mountain on day two of his first multi-day trip at age seven.

Let them show off

Except online, we're generally a low-profile family. I am teaching my kids to listen to others and ask questions rather than tout our accomplishments. We don't rely on anyone else to give value what we do. This lets us build confidence in ourselves and remember that we don't adventure for anyone but us.

The exception to this is when we're on a hard trip. No matter how many times I tell the kids they're doing really well it doesn't sink in. After all, I'm just Dad. I have to say that. But get a complete stranger to say something as innocuous as, "Way to go!" and they light up and gain strength.

If you doubt the value of this, tell a kid that's flagging on a trail that she's doing great and watch her perk up. It works every time.

Surprise them

Surprises are magical things. They shatter your kid's expectations and help them realize that anything is possible. Kids that get surprised become more flexible and adaptable.

Surprises come in two flavors: Planned and unplanned. Planned surprises are the ones you put together. Like bringing JiffyPop or a tiny bottle of Coke. Keep them secret and pull them out when your kids least expect it or most need it.

Then there are the unplanned surprises. Finding ripe blueberries near camp. Crossing a river of flowers flowing across the trail. Seeing a bear! Some of these are purely joyful no matter when they happen. Some, like seeing a bear, can be scary. But if your kids are ok with surprises and able to adapt to changes on the trip they'll see the bear and realize how lucky they are.

Don't think what worked last year will work this year

On previous trips, kids have done great on the flats, but when it came to climbing with a pack they've slowed and lost motivation. On at least one trip, though, four miles of mostly flat trail through the woods was more than one junior hiker could take. He wanted to call it quits and either camp in the middle of the trail or head home. However, when we started the steep climb on what barely passed for a trail he perked up and was charging up the hill. Why? Beats me. But you can bet I'm not going to expect that experience again.

Let them hike their own hike

Kids want to do what kids want to do. That means if you don't do what they want to do they won't have as much fun. The trick is empowering them to make good decisions. For us, this has meant choosing camp sites, additional adventures, and how we spend our down time. Be sure you're happy with the options and then let them direct their time. They'll have more fun and you might be surprised by what they choose to do.

Go solo

We started with friends and sometimes with siblings. On a couple of trips I've had the pleasure of hiking with just one of my kids and it's been magical. The first was an accident when my oldest daughter's friend couldn't make the trip. We spent more time holding hands and talking than on any of the other trips.

I plan individual trips with each of the kids so I can have that quality one-on-one time with them. This has become more and more important as the kids have gotten older and more independent. Soon, they won't be hiking with me so this is my time with them.

Keep them busy

"Idle hands are the devil's playthings," said Benjamin Franklin, and he wasn't wrong. It's not that a kid without something to do on a camping trip is evil, it's just a bored kid won't be having fun. And fun is the most important thing on a trip. (Except safety. And safety plays into this, too, because a bored kid is liable to do any number of unsafe things.)

If we sit around doing nothing, I inevitably hear the rumblings of homesickness, bad decisions, and whining. Go for a hike. Do some SCIENCE! Make silly videos about your gear. Just make sure you've got enough activity to fill the time you have.

Be ready for the meltdowns

Every trip I've been on has had at least one meltdown. Everyone handles stress differently and backpacking trips, especially as you're pushing the boundaries of comfort, you'll find out just how your kids respond. How you respond to their meltdowns (and your own) will greatly impact how quickly they can recover and get back to having fun. It might be better to sympathize and let them cry it out or maybe they need time alone, hiking 50 feet in front or behind you.

I'd love to give you a list of magic responses, but there aren't any. You'll have to figure these out on your own.

Don't drive and hike

Especially on longer, harder trips with long drives you're doing nobody any favors getting there in the mid-morning and starting hiking right away. Drive most of the way and sleep in your car. Always leave some windows open if you're sleeping in your car. Two people, even if one is only 10, will produce a ton of moisture (and likely a bunch of C02) that needs to be vented. Bring mosquito netting to cover the windows so you don't wake up with bites everywhere. Bring bedding you won't be taking on your hike so you don't have to pack everything that first morning.

Forest Service roads and most Walmarts are great places to crash for the night.

The night is dark and full of terrors

Well, maybe not quite that scary, but it's definitely dark and goes on and on. I always carry a couple of different ways to occupy our time. A deck of cards is a lifesaver. Make sure you know a bunch of different games. War is an easy one. Betting games work great when you use edible currency like M&Ms. (Make sure you lose enough that everyone gets a treat.) Solitaire is especially handy so you can take a nap after a long, restless night. If you really want to impress them, spend a few hours learning how to build a house of cards and you'll be a magician! (It's easier than you think. You just need to get the first five cards up.)

If your kids are older, bring books. The downside to books is they're heavy. However you can carry an entire library of ebooks. Check out your public library to see if you can borrow ebooks and read them on a phone.

Remember that bit about keeping them busy? These tricks will help a little, but not enough to fill a whole day.

Remember: It's about them

Don't forget the reason you're out backpacking with your kids is... to spend time with your kids. And when's the best time to spend time with your kids? Duh: When they're having a good time. Remember the terrible twos? The actually terrible threes? Sure, looking back those were the best times, but when you were in the middle of them they kind of sucked.

When they get to be teenagers and they aren't having fun it's not too terribly different from having toddlers again. Except now they're almost as big as you and not as susceptible to ice cream bribes. Unless you plan on bribing them with actual money (let's not start that discussion) there's not a lot you can do once they've got their mind set.

That means if they don't want to climb to the summit they're not climbing to the summit. If they want to walk barefoot in the mud of a tarn, they're going to do that. Realize they are firmly in the driver's seat and your ability to direct them is fading with each passing day.

Plan your trips with loads of options and be ok with whichever get exercised. Even if it's none of them. Just be happy they're out there with you.

Make it meaningful

As they've gotten older, my kids have been more and more interested in knowing what they're doing is important. What has really resonated with them is contributing to SCIENCE! We've worked with Adventure Scientists since 2013 when we discovered pikas were cute. The kids were willing to sit still, hike farther, and climb higher if they thought they would see pikas. We all still think they're cute (because, duh), but now contributing data about pikas, Wild and Scenic Rivers, and snow conditions is what drives us.

Time's running out; do whatever it takes to get out there

When I started backpacking with the kids it seemed like I had tons of time. Heck, they were four years old. Even if they stopped backpacking with me when they went to college I still had like a million years before then. Except then is now now. Suddenly, without telling me, they grew up.

There's always something else competing with backpacking trips. They're in school. I'm at work. Their friends don't hike. I'm at work. They need the internet. I need the internet. They don't want to do the trip I want to. I don't want to do the trip they want to.

None of that matters. When you're looking at them moving out of the house the idea that they'll soon have their own lives becomes very, very real. So if they want to do a car camping trip that focuses on SCIENCE!, yeah. If they want to go to the beach instead of the mountains, yeah.

Whatever it takes.

What comes next?

When I first starting writing this piece, the kids were little. I carried almost everything and they were limited in terms of how far we could go. What comes next was all about getting more ambitious and going to more epic locations. Well, we did that. Single night trips that had single digit mileage became multi-night, marathon-distance epics.

So now it seems What comes next is more of the same until they leave to start their own lives. If I'm lucky, they'll still adventure with me when they're home. (If I'm really lucky, they'll take me on adventures in places they discover.)

And if all else fails, there's still grandkids.

Backpacking trips

Age	Nights	Distance	Elevation Gain	Trip Report
4	1	3.5	1,200	Scout Lake
4	1	5.6	1,200	Esmerelda Basin
4	1	4	700	Sheep Lake
5	1	7.1	2,050	Margaret Lake
5	1	6.2	1,656	Lena Lake
5, 7	1	4.6	500	Ancient Lakes
6	1	9	3,200	Headlight Basin
6	1	6	1,700	Summit Lake
6	1	4	1,100	Snow Lake
7	2	10	5,000	Alta Mountain/Lila Lake
7, 9	2	11.4	3,188	Summerland
8	1	8	3,000	Sprite Lake
8, 10	2	13	2,570	Berkley Park
8	2	15	4,110	Tuck and Robin Lakes
9	1	2	200	Smithbrook (Winter)
9	2	15.2	4,509	Trappers Peak/Thornton Lakes
9, 11	2	23.5	5,120	Heart Lake/High Divide
10	1	1.2	387	Paradise (Winter)
10, 12	1	17.3	5,537	Gothic Basin
10	2	19.1	5,719	Buckhorn Lake and Mountain
11	2	17.7	3,793	Hawkeye Point/Goat Lake
11	2	13.9	4,142	Glacier Lake
12	2	19.8	3,580	Royal Basin
12	2	28.2	6,393	Necklace Valley
12	2	28.6	4,274	Vista Lakes
13	2	20	4,947	Mountain Lakes
14	2	34.8	5,814	The Loowit Trail
14	2	19	5,066	Stone Kingdom
14	1	9.7	3,008	Rock Lake
15	1	14.7	1,491	Toleak Point
15	2	10.9	617	Ozette
16	2	10	93	Chilean Memorial
17	1	7.5	1,496	Sunrise Science
18	1	8.1	732	San Juan Island