Oh, no driers? Where would you even plug it in?

What? No pliers? What if we need them?

No friars? I thought there was a little thing called religious freedom in this country!

No criers? You talk to the kids. I haven't had any luck with that.

No hires? Not a problem in this economy.

No spires? What about cairns?

Wait, did you say no fires? Are you FREAKING OUT OF YOUR MIND? Why else do we go camping except to sit by the fire after the kids go to bed? A fire is one of the few joys left to us in the modern age.

Yeah, ok. I get it. Fires are bad. It's the height of the fire season. Makes sense.

Can we still have bacon?