Treen passed on a Saturday. It was a hard day. Lots of tears. Lots of pain. By the end of the day I had that headache that comes with intense emotion and I couldn't think straight. The mountains are where I go to reset and rebalance so I loaded Henry and Tinkham into the truck and drove into the forest.
It was a beautiful day and there were plenty of other cars at the trailhead. People were heading off on a long road walk to a beautiful waterfall. We faked like we were going that way, but when nobody was looking we ducked off behind the bathroom and up a new trail.
It seems nobody knows about this trail yet. We'd been here years ago with Treen, but that was before the trail was built. Back then the route was just a faint scratch through the moss. The new trail is built for a higher volume of boots and will become one of those hikes that introduce new hikers to adventure.
For now, it was an easy, quiet walk through the sun-dappled forest. Tinkham is still getting the hang of walking on a leash. She's getting better at it, but if she can walk ahead she pulls like a sled dog. She did best when she was forced to follow me without the option to get past. Good girl.
As nice as the new trail is, the old trail is better. When we crossed the old trail we abandoned the packed tread for the duffy goodness that an abandoned trail provides. There's just something wonderful about feeling the ground give way just a little with each step and then rebound when you move.
Closer to the top we rejoined the new trail, but only with significant effort. Unlike other projects that built a new trail over an old, this trail crew made a significant effort to decommission the old trail. As a result, there was a massive pile of debris obscuring the junction and no really good way for a little puppy to get through. So much for taking her on an easy hike.
The views from the top were just as good as they were so many years ago. The road's been paved, but the valley is otherwise just as wild. The cliff was just as scary as when I had all three kids up there so Tink stayed on leash even though she really wanted to explore.
On our easy walk down (we followed the new trail the whole way) I found some measure of peace. The last time I had to hike like this was way back in 2010 after the death of my grandmother. Walking through the mountains has a way of making me feel a part of everything around me. It helps me let go in a joyful way.
It was also good that this was a trail that we had both hiked with Treen (the old trail) and were hiking for the first time (the new trail). I was able to flip back and forth between the past and the present with each step. Neither was better or worse than the other. By the time we were back at the car I felt at peace with the life we'd given Treen and excited about the life that lay ahead for Tinkham.
I'm sure I'll return to the mountains the next time we lose someone close to us, but I hope it won't be for a long, long time.
