When you're punished for something you did, you can usually remember the fun you had doing it. The worst punishment is the one that comes out of the blue when you thought you were doing well.

I mean, if we'd been out partying every night and leaving the kids to fend for themselves, sure, being sick over the holidays would be our just reward.

If we'd lied and cheated and stolen we would have deserved loud gifts for the kids.

I'm not even sure what evil deeds would justify a forecast of a white Christmas that fell flat.

Whatever it was we did, we're sorry. Really sorry.

And if we're bad next year, can you just dump some coal in our stockings? Thanks.